So I remember...

I never want to forget today. I want to seal it in my memory forever.  I want to bottle up the smell of the rain hitting the fresh dirt and the road. I want to remember the music we listened to on our drive and how that seems to always transport us back into time. Back to when we first fell in love and had everything to hope for. When I felt as though I could physically inhabit you and still, it wouldn't be close enough. I'm glad we got to experience that mad, crazy, passionate, obsessive love in the beginning. No matter where the wind blows us, we will have each other, and we will always have magical days like today that will remind us of how very lucky we are.

Strangers in bars-part 1

Every now and then, life gives me a reminder to talk to people more often. Sometimes the most interesting stories are told by the people sitting next to you at the bar. It's amazing really. When a person sits down next to you, you judge them based on a variety of things. It's just what we all do, let's be honest. This is why it's so amazing to me that sometimes people can surprise you in such interesting ways. Here's what I mean...

A couple of weeks ago we traveled to North Carolina. It was our first time in the state and we had no plans other than to attend a wedding. Our first night in town was spent at a no frills Courtyard by Marriott hotel in the middle of suburbia. We checked in sort of late, but wanted to grab a drink. Under normal circumstances, the bar at the Macaroni Grill would not be on our radar of places to have a good time, but under travel duress and because it was walking distance from the hotel, we landed.

We ordered a bottle of wine because the bottles were 50% off! A few minutes later a man sat at the bar and got suckered into buying a bottle of wine too, because c'mon half price! A few minutes after him another man sat down and another bottle of wine was purchased. We were all traveling and all staying at the same hotel. Good gig for the Macaroni Grill bartender if you ask me :)

Shortly after we all sat down we started chatting. Scott talked about cars to the man next to him and I struck up a conversation about food and wine...and furniture to the man next to me. I realize the irony of talking food and wine in a Macaroni Grill :) Turns out the guy sitting next to me was a real life Gordon Ramsay. Going into restaurants across the country and consulting for them. Helping with menus and food and wine parings etc. He was really fun to talk to and I felt totally out of my league. He was friends with Rick Bayless for God's sake! I say that in a part sarcastic/part serious tone. Sarcastic, because Rick Bayless isn't a household name, and serious because he's one of my favorite chefs. He's on PBS (my favorite geek channel) Whenever I talk to someone who clearly knows more about a topic than I do, I get nervous. I don't want to come out of the gate with a statement like "I'm a foodie" and then when asked what my favorite restaurant is, draw a blank and say something like...TGIFriday's. This happens to me mostly when talking about music. I love music, I really do, but most of the time I can't remember album titles or song names. It's mostly like...um, the album with the blue cover? Or, the 5th song on the CD? But anyways, it was fun talking food and sharing our mutual love for the Chicago food scene :) The night ended with my new food friend gifting us with a bottle of wine he had in his room and some yummy chocolate.

Sometimes the most random people will surprise you with their kindness and generosity.

Resolutions

I used to be really big on new year's resolutions. Well, not "really big", but I always made a couple. Then like the rest of America, I'd promptly forget said resolutions about 3 weeks in to the new year. Hooray! In recent years I haven't made any because I don't like to fail, and it always felt like resolutions were just giant set ups to fail.

Well, this year is different...and I'm not just saying that :) I decided to make multiple smaller goals instead of one giant resolution. What's more is that I decided to split my goals up quarterly. I thought about writing everything down at once and then splitting from there, but frankly I just can't think that far ahead. There are things I'm pretty sure I'll still want to accomplish at the end of the year, but goals change and I wanted the freedom to change things up without feeling like I'm failing at not following through. So with that in mind, I decided I'd just do my Jan-March goals and then make my next set of 3 month goals when the time came at the end of March.

I split my first quarter goals into 5 categories
Home, Health, Personal, Work, Fun

I won't bore anyone with the full list of my goals, but a sampling of some were...
HOME: Organize under the bathroom cabinet.

Which included all my make up.

 And skin care...

PERSONAL: Make a home made bath or beauty product- I made two sugar scrubs.
1) Almond scented brown sugar scrub
2) Lemon sugar scrub

HOME: Another goal was to get more of our kitchen functionally organized. We don't have a particularly small  kitchen, but we have really limited cabinet space so it makes things tricky. I purchased this industrial shelving from Cost Plus and really love it. So far, so good.

Some other goals I had for Jan-Mar.

WORK: to gain 10 new business facebook likes. I started at 210 and now am at 243 I believe. I way surpassed that goal and I'm really happy with that. These days marketing is less about spending money on magazine ads and more on social media, so the more people see my page, the better.

FUN: Go snowshoeing 2 times. (only made it out once)
HEALTH: Eat in M-F (we were really good about this Jan-mid Feb and then started slacking at bit, but this goal will be ongoing I'm pretty sure)
HEALTH: Exercise 4x weekly including 3x yoga (I stuck to this pretty well)

Under all of the 5 categories, I had three goals. 15 total. I accomplished 8 total, which is 8 more than I would have, had I not done this at all, so I'm happy with that.

We're now 3 weeks into April and I've yet to sit down and make my second quarter goals, so I need to do that...today, and I will.

Yea accomplishment!

Thoughts on 2010

It's been quite the year for me. I haven't even posted on this blog since Feb?!?!?! I just want to get all these things out of my head, so I figured this would be a good place...since I'm sure maybe 1 person will even read this. So here's my 2010 wrap up

First and foremost, I quit my lame soul sucking part time job and jumped head first into being a full fledged business owner. I took the leap mostly because I felt like where I was working was going to go out of business any day. There were literally no upcoming jobs scheduled and I felt the impending axe coming. Scott and I talked about it and we thought it was best for me to just quit and do photography full time. I wasn't making barely anything at the job anyways, since it was low paying to begin with AND part time. What a difference leaving has made in my life. I no longer dread Sunday evenings and no longer have that pit of my stomach sinking feeling when I think about work. Instead it's been replaced with a zest for the business I never thought possible.

About two weeks after I left my day job I was featured on Living Social, which for those who don't know, it's just like Groupon...and if you don't know what Groupon is, well then you're missing out on some serious deals. So I was featured Oct 18th and since then I have been so busy I can barely see straight. It's just now calming down after the Holiday rush. I had a photo shoot almost every day. Many Saturdays and Sundays I had multiple shoots, maxing out at 3 shoots one day. That was too much! I really got a baptism by fire and have learned so much I feel like my brain has doubled in size. I really underestimated the amount of back end work that goes into a photography business. Scheduling, shooting, downloading, editing, uploading, collecting orders, ordering prints, cashing checks (my favorite), mailing out CD's etc, web work, social media etc. I have loved every minute of it though. I love giving a family something they will look back on for years. I love being a part of that in some small way and I love when clients tell me how much the photographs mean to them. It's beyond rewarding and I feel like for the first time in my life I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing. I've followed a passion and it's rewards so far have been awesome. Last week I even purchased a new iMac and named her Josie. She's going to help me make lots of money. Her words, not mine. Scott calls me his "plucky business woman" and can't wait until I can support him in the lifestyle he's grown accustomed to. He told me that I need a pony tail because every good business woman wears a plucky pony tail and he thinks I can get the "plucky business woman kit" complete with detachable pony tail at Office Depot. He says the weirdest shit sometimes. I don't know where he comes up with half of it.

Here's my website, incase you haven't seen it ever...or in a while
www.goldenpaisleyphotography.com


The other big highlight of the year came early when Scott and I decided to do a round of Body for Life. 3 months of insane workout schedules and strict eating. We both lost about 15 lbs and kept most of it off. It was a great thing for both of us. We had just enough time to workout, go to work, make dinner, eat, sleep and do some mommy daddy stuff and that was literally IT for 3 months. We even got rid of cable because we didn't have time for TV. Highly recommend ditching cable TV. I learned that no one needs to see crap like Toddlers & Tiaras, like EVER let alone re-runs. Crap tv for me is so addicting. We were just in Chicago for a week and having access to the tv in the hotel was like crack. I'm glad we cut-IT-OUT! Joey Gladstone style yo.
So I said we've kept most of the weight off. I've gained back 5 lbs, wohhh wohhhhh. Losing weight isn't for the birds. It's hard and it's even harder when I eat my feelings :) I've been seeing a counselor for a while now. Actually 2 years nearly to the day. There were times I'd go once a week. I've done a LOT of work on myself over the past couple years and I feel like I should be the poster child for Therapy. I think everyone should go. I see my counselor about once a month now, but I'm going to do a sort of yoga therapy for the next few months and see how that goes instead. I really really adore my counselor, but I want to do something new. For me yoga is therapy in a way. I leave feeling notably happier and calmer and the added bonus is that I get a great physical workout from it too. So I'm committing myself for the next three months to take classes 4x a week and see how it goes. I've gotten out of a huge funk without medication-just with seeing my counselor. I feel like I'm definitely over the hump now and have been for quite some time, but I know it will always take work to stay not crazy. So, that's where yoga comes in for me. I feel like I've taken ownership of my life. Because the truth is, it is only us who can make our life great or shit. I've really tried to eliminate all excuses from my life. "my life isn't "X" because of...."X" is something I just don't do anymore. If I miss a workout or a week's worth of workouts, or eat like crap, it's because of ME not anything else and it's an extremely empowering way to live, but it can be a bitch sometimes. You are the master of your own destiny. I get it now.

We also moved into a new house at the beginning of March. It's a fantastic home. 3 bed, 2 bath, built in 1896. Original floors and doors and fixtures, but updated plumbing, electrical, master bedroom and closet, kitchen and bathrooms. The master shower was nicknamed the grotto (ala playboy style) from friends of ours. The house is cozy without being tiny and it's just a perfect fit for us. We're renting from a great girl about our ages (or somewhere in between). She moved to NY for her job and wanted to find good renters. We get along great and she's the perfect landlord. Never in our business, living out of state, and trusts us and knows we take care of the house very very well. We're hoping she may want to just sell it to us after our lease is up...who knows. We live within walking distance (short walking distance) to 2 major grocery stores, bars, sandwich shops, coffee shops, bank and downtown is a 15 minute walk. We've been pretty spoiled with our Whole Foods (paycheck) 2 blocks away. Here's a pic of our living room/dining room















So that's pretty much it. Soon I'm going to post some goals and things we want to do in 2011. I may even start posting more regularly, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Love, peace, happiness, joy, blessings and all that jazz to you all

Katy

On Gratitude

I have a lot to be grateful for lately. I've found myself in my car doing a lot of thanking. Although I have no real clear idea of exactly who or what it is I'm expressing my gratitude to, I feel compelled to send it out anyways. It makes me feel like I have more control over my life than I once thought. I grew up thinking that if I was worthy enough, good things would come my way. Although this belief isn't necessarily flawed, for me it proved futile. I never felt worthy enough & spent the majority of my youth feeling guilty.

I'm realizing now though, that in a round about way that old way of thinking is the same way I'm thinking now, just with a different spin. I know I deserve good things, I know I deserve to be happy and I know for sure that if I focus on good, good has to come. Weather that good comes from the God of my youth, or the part of God that is within me, within us all, it's the same thing. I'm sure of it. Gratitude has taught me that in some way we all speak the same language, but we get so incredibly hung up on the semantics of it all that we tangle ourselves in unhappiness. When I was young, I'd pray, but part of me never really believed I deserved anything I was praying for. Because I didn't believe I deserved it, it never manifested into anything. Prayer wasn't flawed, my head was. Some people talk about sending thoughts out into the universe, and in turn the universe would reflect the energy you put out. Send out positive, get positive, send out negative, receive negative. If you tell yourself a story often enough it comes true. This is what I believe to be a universal truth that runs below every form of religion and spiritual practice weather we realize it or not. The book "The Secret" brought this fundamental truth to the masses, but the the "Secret" was always the secret. Way way waayyyyy before it was talked about.

I know a girl who is deathly afraid of spiders. She sought out help in the form of a counselor to overcome this fear. As they were talking it over a spider dropped down square in front of her, hanging from its single string of silk. If that's not manifesting a fear for the purpose of healing, than I don't know what is. She put out FEAR, FEAR, Spider Fear and what do you know? That damn spider showed up and forced her to confront her fear head on.

I guess what I'm saying is that when it comes down to the core of it all, of existence, we're all the same. Whether you find your path through Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Scientology or are a Jehovah's Witness, we're all the same even though on the surface it looks very very different. Amazing what a little gratitude can do.

I am thankful

I am thankful for

My friends. When I moved to Colorado I thought there was no way I'd make friends as good as the ones I have in AZ. I thought, sure I'll have people to hang out with, but no one I would feel comfortable with enough to be around in in my pajamas talking about real stuff, hard stuff, life stuff. I was wrong. I have met a good solid handful of really great great friends and I feel even closer to the ones that remain in my home land.

My husband. He is a good man. He makes me laugh, really loud. He takes care of me and likes it when I take care of him. I have lots of nicknames for him. Boo, Boo Boo, Bunny, Sweetheart, Baby, Babe, Honey. He mostly calls me baby, my love & my dear. When we're in a group of people he sometimes calles me "Kathryn my dear." He's a good provider, the best. He works so hard and is so well respected. He smells really good too.

My Parents. I have a great mom who isn't afraid to smother me with affection and tell me how much she loves me and is proud of me. Most of the time I feel a bit unworthy of the praise, but I figure it's better to be over praised than under appreciated. Makes me feel good. In a very non "big head" sort of way. "My 2 Dads" are swell too.

My cats. I'm completely owning the fact that I'm blogging about my cats. They make me happy OK? Get over it. We are total cat people. Our girl cat Sara has Scott wrapped around her little paw fingers. He's going to kill me for posting this, but whatever. She sits on his lap like 99% of the time. If he's working from home she will sit there the whole day. When he gets up to do something he carries her with him through out the house. When we go upstairs to bed, he carries her up the stairs. They nuzzle each other then both look at me like "we're cute huh." They both know it makes me go nuts with joy. I go crazy for all three of our cats. Scott+Me+cats+bed=Pure bliss.

PS-Scott called in the middle of me writing this last part about him and Sara. I told him I was blogging about him. He asked what it was about and I told him I couldn't tell him. He said, well I hope it's something perverted. He'd love that. I'm a lady though, I don't talk about anything less than pure.

B-day

Hot off the Press! I had a birthday yesterday. My GOLDEN birthday to be exact. I'm 29. WOW. I think this is definitely the age where you don't get any free passes for not having your act together. Thank god I feel like I got my life together this year! ha ha. Last year at this time I felt pretty lost. I had no real direction and just sort of felt like life was just happening to me. What a difference a year makes. I don't think I can say I totally have it all figured out, but I feel like I have a handle on the important things now and that's a good feeling to have. Creating your life... who knew it could be so empowering?

Last weekend a bunch of friends and myself went for a birthday celebration. We had Lebanese food and went and did karaoke. It was fun. I love karaoke. I sang "we're off to see the wizard." It was the chocolate cake shot that decided that, not me. I even marched in place when I sang. I think that added a little something special, don't you think?

This weekend Scott took me out to dinner @ North -LOVE THAT PLACE. Then we walked over to this place called "cocktails and canvases." It's a place where you create a painting and drink, basically. Although I was a bit too concentrated on my painting to drink. I had a small glass of wine... didn't want to disrupt the creative juices. I really love my painting, I think I'm even going to get it framed! We had a great time & it was very romantic.

My mom sent me a package with a cookbook called "Kissing in the Kitchen - Cooking with passion" I joked with Scott that this is her subtle way of saying PROCREATE DAMNIT, I WANT A GRANDCHILD! Hey, you can't blame her. Scott and I are sort of defective in that baby department. It freaks us out a bit more than most couples. I mean, I'm 29 and he's 38 and we have no children to speak of. I'd be scared too if I was my mom:) We decided that we're not having children until we both feel like we can have them and not die. And if that time comes, and I'm 40 and he's 50, then we'll adopt. OK, the die part was a little dramatic, but a woman who's almost 30 can be dramatic when talking about babies.

I'll post a picture of my 29 year old self holding my painting later today. Hold your breath!

Peace, Love & Chocolate Birthday Cake-
Katy

The Divorce Piggy Bank

The Divorce Piggy Bank
The Divorce Piggy Bank Can Help Pay Your Lawyer
By Sam Margulies PhD

Having mediated thousands of divorces I have acquired some knowledge over the years of what acts and omissions reliably contribute to divorce.I have also learned that marriages generally don't break over a specific event but rather erode over time as spouses fail to feed the marriage what it needs to thrive. I also know that most divorces are expensive and that it is common for each lawyer to ask for a retainer of $3,000 to $5,000. So this post is designed to help you finance your divorce gradually as you engage in those behaviors that slowly damage and eventually destroy your marriage.

Here is what you should do. First, buy a good size piggy bank. Every time you commit one of the acts listed below, or anytime your spouse commits one, you deposit the required amount in your piggy bank. This way, by the time you need a retainer you will have saved it. You will want to count the money in your piggy bank once a year because it may serve as a guide to how close you are to divorce. Be sure to share this data with your spouse.

Go to bed angry with your spouse. $3.


Spend an entire day without expressing affection or praising your spouse. $3.

Make a sarcastic comment to your spouse. $5.

Raise your voice in anger to your spouse. $3.

Do the above and fail to apologize. $5.

Dismiss as unimportant an issue raised by your spouse. $7.

Install a TV in the kitchen. $20.

Watch TV while eating together. $10.

Spend a night in bed with your spouse and make no gesture of affection such as a kiss or caress. $5.

Refuse a request from your spouse for sex for the second time in a row unless you have a note from your doctor. $7.

Refuse a request from your spouse for sex for the fifth time in a row unless you have a note from your mother. $30.

Roll your eyes at something said by your spouse. $5.

Refuse a request to go to counseling with your spouse. $100. (almost 100% predictive of divorce.)

Spend a year and not take a vacation with your spouse while leaving the children home. $25.

Schedule so many activities for your children that you leave no time for your marriage. Each week pay: $5.

Be upset with your spouse and not raise it because you believe it pointless to discuss it. $10.

When your spouse raises an issue stonewall and refuse to discuss it. $50.

You fail to learn what actions by you bring pleasure to your spouse. $50.

Although this list is by no means exhaustive it represents a good sample.

Readers are invited and requested to add to the list.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/divorce-grownups/200904/divorce-piggy-bank

Relationship Deal Sealers-Part 4 of 5

Scott told me he writes poetry very early on. I'd say within our 2nd or 3rd date. I really didn't know what to think at first. I'd never met a man who wrote poetry. It was never on my "things I like in a guy" list and frankly I never thought it was my thing-to like a guy who writes poetry. Pshaw!

That was until he wrote this line.... for ME!

"our hearts held by ethereal strings hearts held by ghosts of beautiful things"

Ladies, you may think a man who writes poetry is not for you, but I challenge you not to break out in tears when the man you love professes his love for YOU through a poem. He wrote countless poems for me in our early years. Now, it's tapered off a bit but when I get one, I savor every word. Which is why we insisted on writing our own vows.

This is the last little part of his vows to me.

"Most of all I vow to walk with you through the fire that will temper and strengthen our love, and embrace you throughout our lives with tenderness, stillness and respect."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm swimming back in that cocktail of love drug

Relationship Deal Sealers-Part 3 of 5

It was October 2002. We had been dating for 9 months. We were madly in love. Over the moon. Beside ourselves, unable to make any rational decisions about anything. Including but not limited to: leaving the house in our underwear. Stay with me.

It was Halloween. In fact, I think it was actually Halloween day. We were going to a party and had no costume. We drove around aimlessly for a while joking about how we should just go as nudists. Then Scott suggested we go as Adam and Eve. Ha ha ha, I thought. But he was serious. Wait, WHAT?! What are we going to wear? More importantly, what aren't we going to wear? Well, being as though my brain was swimming with oxytocin and I was barely able to function with all of that love drug swimming around inside me, I can not be held accountable for what happened next. Like, ever. So when I run for some sort of public office in my 50's and a picture surfaces of me in my unmentionables, you'll know why.

We decided the best way to execute this costume was to get a bra and underwear for me (which turned into a bra and short shorts) and boxer briefs for Scott. We went to the gap for those items. Then we went to Michael's craft store for leaves. We got home and I sewed plastic leaves on our skivvies. And I don't even sew! And I don't think I've ever used the word skivvies.

The costumes actually looked really good. I was impressed. Martha would have been horrified. We put on the costume, aka underwear, and stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Picture to bug eyed owls standing in front of a mirror. We looked at ourselves and both thought "holy shit, we're in ourfuckingunderwear" Sorry, this blog is not censored. So we stood there and stood there and stood there and suddenly you have this stark realization that you're about to go out in public in your underwear. You think... it's just like a bathing suit, but I'm here to tell you my friends, it is NOT just like a bathing suit. We were committed though. Committed to our art. So we went out.

We got in his smooth as silk Audi S4 and I remember thinking. Hey, I feel a whole lotta leather on my back. Wow, I'm in my bra...with leaves. The drive to the party was filled with church giggles and, and cuss words.

Scott still has those white GAP boxer briefs. I know this because every time I do laundry and come across white briefs with tiny holes where the leaves were sewn on, I smile.

The moral of this story-If you find a man who can convince you to go half naked to a Halloween party, and he'll do the same. Well, that's a true testament of love in my book.

And that's how I knew-Part 3