If I liked these things I'd be cool

Recently I read an article in the Onion, which let me say, the onion is hi-lar-e-ous! I’ve always heard it was funny, but I’ve really never paid any attention to that publication until we moved to Denver. It’s all over the city. Outside of restaurants, on the sides of the streets, it’s everywhere. So back to the funny article I read. It was about this couple who keeps trying Sake thinking that one day they will like it, but to date, still can barely suck it down. They keep going back and making sake attempts because it’s one of those things that if you say you’re into, it’s regarded as something hip. Like “hey I’m a sake connoisseur, I’m cool” The main reason this article was so funny is because Scott loves Sake and I pretty much think it’s the most rancid drink ever but he keeps trying to get me to like it and says.. try this kind, blah blah blah. It’s NASTY with all capital letters!

So, this got me thinking. What else do I keep trying to like because I feel I should like, cause it’s cool or whatever, but really don’t? I’ve started compiling a list and here it is in no particular order.

Jack Johnson

Ok, he was on the cover of Rolling Stone, women go crazy for this guy, back a while ago there was that Ben Harper/Jack Johnson craze everyone was in a frenzy about, but plain and Simple, I don’t get it. I think his music is about as exciting as removing wallpaper. (Yes, I just came up with that analogy right here on the spot). I’ve heard people go mad wack about Jack Johnson “coming to their town” and conversations go something like this “ahhhhhhh, whhhhhoooo, Jack Johnson, we gotta get tickets!” I want say, do you seriously like this dude, or are you faking it? Obviously it’s not my cup of tea, so we’ll stop with Jack Johnson and move on to the next.

Sushi The first date I had with Scott was to Sushi on Shea. I vividly remember him asking me if I liked sushi and me promptly saying, oh yes! Yeah, that was a lie. Don’t get me wrong, I can put away a few pieces with out feeling nauseous, but after about 4 I’m feeling like I need to hit the bathroom. I guess technically what I’m eating really isn’t even sushi, it’s the rolls, which 9 times out of 10 is cooked fish, but it’s still regarded as sushi. Sushi is such a cool thing to like too and I wish I could get into it. I try it, and try it and try it again and I always leave feeling hungry and cranky. When ever people say “oh there’s this great sushi place you should try” I enthusiastically say “oh really, where?” C’mon who am I kidding, I should just stop trying to like it cause I don’t think after 6 years it’s going to all the sudden change.

Reading This is another topic in which I keep telling myself that one day if I keep at it, I will magically enjoy it suddenly. In order for me to read there are a few requirements that have to be met. 1) It has to be a recommendation from someone telling me that I will like it. 2) Preferably it will be while I’m traveling on an airplane where I have nothing better to do besides watch the back of the person’s head in front of me or watch a movie such as Pride and Predjuce. One of the reasons reading bugs me is because I feel readers looking down on me for not enjoying reading. It’s like my internal rebellion. It’s like, hey I don’t judge you for not wanting to watch Step up 2 “the streets”… oh wait, I do. J/K.

Snowboarding

Snowboarding to me is a lot of work for not that much payout. I mean getting ready for snowboarding alone takes a good 45 solid minutes of just putting clothes on. Layers upon layers, there’s your base layer, long socks, then more socks, then pants, then snowboard pants, long sleeved t-shirts, sweaters, jackets, gloves that go under your gloves. It’s just ridiculous. Right now as it is I have a good layer of fat on me but then you add all those clothes and I turn into Ralphie from a Christmas Story. I can’t move, and you sort of need to be nimble to snowboard. Truth is though, even when I was in my peak of fitness I still didn’t like snowboarding. My feet cramp up and freeze, I get snow in my pants and in my jacket through the wrist holes. Even now as I type this, I have sort of a disgusted look on my face. Oh snowboarding, how I want to like thee. How I long to say “let’s hit the slopes.” I just don’t have the passion for it. I’ll be in the lodge enjoying a hot cup of tea and a foot massage.

I invite you, make your own list :)