Reflections on the past few years

For those of you who don't yet know, we've closed on our house in Phoenix. We are officially non-home owners. For most people that may be a sad thought but for us, right now, we couldn't be happier. We have finally closed a long and trying chapter in our lives. Nearly all of our marriage has been spent in a home being remodeled, trying to keep our heads above water financially and emotionally. I know a lot of you don't know the "guts" of this story, but I think it's sufficient to say that we have been through hell and for those of you who know the story, I think you'll agree that the "hell" is quite the understatement. However, that's not the reason for this story. I'm posting this mostly for me, just the therapy of getting this out of my head.

I've learned a lot of things these past few years about myself, Scott and our relationship.

I've learned that when you think you couldn't possibly take anymore, you probably can.
I've learned that my husband has a breaking point and sometimes, shamefully in the heat of frustration I've exploited this.
I've learned that marriage sometimes has times when you just want to give up, but that no matter how tempting it is to give up, it's much more rewarding to stay.
I've learned that money can very easily just run out and when you're out, your out. It's that simple
I've learned that having a calm and peaceful home is a necessity for me.
I've learned to appreciate simple things like running water, and floors that aren't dusty concrete.
I've learned that asking your parents for a temporary loan is sometimes necessary and although it's not fun, they are always willing to help.
I've learned that I have friends, very good friends who although some couldn’t physically or financially help, they listened to me yell and that was more than enough.
I've also learned that 2 of those friends (who don't have a blog, Chris and Mark) were always there for us when we needed to demo something, clean something, tile something, plum something or is it plumb something.. paint something. And often times those "somethings" were on saturdays or sundays.
I've learned that my husband can cut old pipes out of an attic in Phoenix in July and live to tell the story.
I've learned that when you're arguing about the litter box or the dishes, it's never really about that.
I've also learned how to say what I mean instead of cloaking it in the litter box or the dishes.
I've learned that writing our own vows was one of the best things we ever did.
I've learned that in extreme stress my tendency is to just shut down, but that that never works.
I've learned the art of negotiation in dealing with contractors and buying home building supplies.
I've learned what these words are/mean... flange, toe kick, hot mud, screet, joist.
I've learned that when you're in bad, really really bad situations, it's important to pull yourself out and not depend on anyone else or anything else to save you.
I've learned that not foreclosing on that house really empowered us.

I've learned we can get through anything. I was never afraid of our future together. Scott and I have always had a very strong relationship, but I suppose you never truly know just how much pressure two people can take until you're in it, what ever "it" is. Also, that it's ok that right now we're sort of in repair mode. We certainly didn't come out of this with out any damage and I'm not trying to hide that. Just because our house has sold, doesn't mean that everything’s rosy now. We are still very much in debt and we both have a few emotional bruises. I guess what this is all about is just acknowledging what we went through, how it changed us, how it pushed us apart at times and how we came back together.

I love my husband more than anyone can ever know and I am so proud of us for coming through this together.

Thank you to everyone who helped us get to where we are now.