I have voices in my head. They speak in Spanish so I have no idea what they're saying. That's irritating; I wish one of them would get a job...what? They just moved here from Spain, if you thought they were Mexican, that's because you're racist.
-Daniel Tosh
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with "just kidding".
-Daniel Tosh
I hate you Google, you've caused a lot of problems in my relationship. I share a computer with my girlfriend and she would look up anything. "I'm going to look up apples today." She just hits 'A' it's "Asian ass porn" instantly. Google is like, "I'll take it from here, I know exactly what you're looking up.. well, every time you hit 'A' it's "Asian ass porn." Google! All I ask is that you let her type three letters before you jump to such a bold conclusion.
-Daniel Tosh
1 comment:
those were hilarious. i've never heard of that guy. but, thanks to google...i'm searching now!
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